Valerie-Week 1

My name is Valerie…big girl for life…or so I thought.  I have been overweight for the greater part of my life.  I come from a long line of amazing cooks in my family and finding food was never an issue.  I can’t remember a time when the kitchen was not occupied with people and food.  For some reason, the kitchen is where my family has always gathered to talk, laugh, and of course eat.  As I got older, I started to realize that I was a bit huskier than most of the girls that were my age but I made myself believe that it was ok.  I chalked it up to being an avid softball player and I “needed” to be a bit bigger than the other girls because I “needed” to be strong.  However, once I got to college, I saw how much bigger I was than the other girls and they were still great softball players, just half my size.  During my freshmen year of college, I was probably the only person not to put on the “freshmen 15”.   I actually dropped about 25 lbs but it was not due to trying…it was due to the fact that I was forced to run 20 minutes a day, lift three days a week, and play softball everyday for about three hours.  If you are on this kind of regiment and you don’t lose weight, there is a problem.  I finally got to experience what it was like to be a normal weight, able to wear normal clothes that didn't come from the “plus size section”, and actually have some self confidence.  However, all good things come to an end and when softball was over and I graduated from college, my accountability quickly diminished and the weight I lost came back with a vengeance and brought some extra pounds to the party.  I made excuses for  why I wasn't working out or cooking for myself, why I had to go out to dinner with my friends and why I had to go out for a night of drinking.  At the time, I actually thought that I didn't have control over the situation.  The fact of the matter is, I was in control of myself.  I was always in control, I made the wrong choices.  It was a constant roller coaster with my weight...always going up and down.  I would get motivated for a month, then I stop, then I get motivated, then I stop…I was a professional quitter when it comes to weight loss. 

During the summer of 2011, I finally got my act together.  I made a decision that I was going to get healthy.  I wasn't focusing on how much weight I could lose, I just wanted to be healthy.  My main motivation was getting healthy for the life that I was about to have.  My boyfriend at the time and I were planning our future which included getting married, kids, a house, the whole nine yards.  I didn't want to start this life with him while I was getting winded walking up two flights of stairs to my apartment.  I had lost about 15 lbs on my own just with daily exercise and watching what I was eating.  I felt great and things were falling into place.  Then, the unthinkable happened and he broke up with me over Facebook.  Yes, you read that right, over Facebook.  Naturally, this was a shock to me and after days of trying to get in touch with him to give me an explanation, I never got my explanation.  I pretty much went into a depression after that. My typical day went a little like this:  Get up, get McDonalds breakfast, go to work (I would go out on for lunch), go home, watch TV laying on the couch, go out for dinner, go home, watch more TV, go to bed.  Repeat for 6 months.  I gained about 50 lbs in that 6 month time frame.  It was the heaviest I have ever been.  I didn't realize what happened.  “How could you not know?” you ask…well, when you avoid mirrors, cameras, and any type of clothing store you just don’t notice.  It wasn't until I finally took a picture with my mom and I really saw what I looked like and I didn't like what I saw.  It was all I could do not to cry.  It was then, that I made the best decision that I could possibly make and that was joining Weight Watchers.  I have lost about 35 lbs since joining.  It is not as much as I thought I should have lost in a year...I am a little disapointed in myself however, I feel great and I have re-learned how to eat and take care of myself.  To me, that's a greater accomplishment.  

My ultimate goal is to lose 100 lbs.  I am starting to get in some daily exercise and I would like to be able to run a 5K without stopping and hopefully be able to do more and improve my time on each one.  I know I still have a long way to go, but I am not focusing on the number of pounds I have to lose, rather, I am focusing on how I feel.  I have realized that when I put so much pressure on the number, I don’t do as well.  It’s all about the feelings…typical girl I know…but it works for me! 

I am so excited to begin a new weight loss journey with all of you.  I know there are going to be some ups and downs, but with your support, I am sure everything is going to be alright!

Ciao,

Valerie