Valerie~Week 3 and 4

So here it is, the excuse why I missed last week..I knew it was going to be a bad week and was embarrassed to post it for all of the world to see.  However, this week was probably just as bad if not worse, but the fear of being kicked out of this blog makes me want to figure this all out and stick with it even though I feel like I am failing every day.  Most of the time I feel like Paula Abdul when I take two steps forward just to take three steps back.  Life always gets in the way and I need some motivation or some sort of advice how you, out there in the blogging world, do not let life knock you down and off track.  What are some ideas that I can use to help me to get off the couch?  I am so exhausted when I get home from work, that I can't wait to plop down and watch what is on my DVR.  I can't even imagine those of you brave mothers out there being a mom and still finding time for yourself to keep you on the right track.  I saw a picture of myself from this weekend and I can notice the weight slowly creeping back on.  I can see it in the mirror and I am so disappointed in myself.

This week I really want to focus on getting activity and not focus so much on the numbers.  The numbers stress me out.  I am going to try to get activity but not worry about the time.  For example, I have always had success going for a walk and just walking until I wanted to stop.  Sometimes I would walk for two hours before I realized what time it was.  I am hoping to get back into that groove this week because something's gotta give here.  I need to figure out I feel like a broken record, but I am hoping that it will stick this week.

Be Well!

Valerie
   

Valerie~Week 2

STRESS EATING IS THE ENEMY!!!  Holy cow, this week was terrible!  I guess I should start by explaining my outburst.  I am in the process of buying a house.  Not just any house, my first house...on my own...without much guidance.  Between the credit checks, the pre-approval, lawyer e-mails, inspections, appraisals, and contracts with more zeros after the commas than I have ever seen...it is such a stressful process!  I have tried just about everything not to eat everything in site.  I do all the "right work" just to ruin it with the "wrong work".

Now on to the confession...I gained 2.3 lbs the week.  Eeek!  Not to worry, I am determined to lose that 2.3 and then some.  I have come to the conclusion that the stress eating last week was not just due to the stress of the house, but as I am trying to save money for the odds and ends that come with purchasing a house, I have not done anything for myself.  For example, I am in desperate need of a hair cut but the place I normally go for a hair cut is $80 and that comes with all the bells and whistles.  Drinks, snacks, head massage, not to mention the amazing way my hair looks when my stylist is done.  However, to save money, I have put it off.  I have put off a lot of things that I normally enjoy just to save some money.  In turn, it's making me stir crazy and I've gained weight because of it!  Grr...

This week my goal is to do something for myself to try to get this stress anxiety toned down.  If I am craving something sweet, salty, or carb loaded I am going to go to the little fitness center in my apartment complex and walk on the treadmill  or elliptical for 10 minutes at a time.  That may not sound like much, but when you multiply that by the number of cravings that I have been having any given day, it would add up to about an hour a day.  I also want to try something that I learned at Weight Watchers this week.  Our leader suggested to not use the DVR.  At first I was like "WHAT??  Not use my DVR...you have got to be crazy!"  But then she explained that you can still record your shows, just don't fast forward through them.  When a commercial pops up, get up and do something.  It could be anything like sit-ups, planks, doing the laundry, doing the dishes, anything that gets you up and moving to add activity to your TV time.  Even though this is an easy way to get activity, I think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread!  I hope that my cravings subsidize by making these little additions to my day.  Wish me luck!

Ciao,
Valerie      

 

Valerie-Week 1

My name is Valerie…big girl for life…or so I thought.  I have been overweight for the greater part of my life.  I come from a long line of amazing cooks in my family and finding food was never an issue.  I can’t remember a time when the kitchen was not occupied with people and food.  For some reason, the kitchen is where my family has always gathered to talk, laugh, and of course eat.  As I got older, I started to realize that I was a bit huskier than most of the girls that were my age but I made myself believe that it was ok.  I chalked it up to being an avid softball player and I “needed” to be a bit bigger than the other girls because I “needed” to be strong.  However, once I got to college, I saw how much bigger I was than the other girls and they were still great softball players, just half my size.  During my freshmen year of college, I was probably the only person not to put on the “freshmen 15”.   I actually dropped about 25 lbs but it was not due to trying…it was due to the fact that I was forced to run 20 minutes a day, lift three days a week, and play softball everyday for about three hours.  If you are on this kind of regiment and you don’t lose weight, there is a problem.  I finally got to experience what it was like to be a normal weight, able to wear normal clothes that didn't come from the “plus size section”, and actually have some self confidence.  However, all good things come to an end and when softball was over and I graduated from college, my accountability quickly diminished and the weight I lost came back with a vengeance and brought some extra pounds to the party.  I made excuses for  why I wasn't working out or cooking for myself, why I had to go out to dinner with my friends and why I had to go out for a night of drinking.  At the time, I actually thought that I didn't have control over the situation.  The fact of the matter is, I was in control of myself.  I was always in control, I made the wrong choices.  It was a constant roller coaster with my weight...always going up and down.  I would get motivated for a month, then I stop, then I get motivated, then I stop…I was a professional quitter when it comes to weight loss. 

During the summer of 2011, I finally got my act together.  I made a decision that I was going to get healthy.  I wasn't focusing on how much weight I could lose, I just wanted to be healthy.  My main motivation was getting healthy for the life that I was about to have.  My boyfriend at the time and I were planning our future which included getting married, kids, a house, the whole nine yards.  I didn't want to start this life with him while I was getting winded walking up two flights of stairs to my apartment.  I had lost about 15 lbs on my own just with daily exercise and watching what I was eating.  I felt great and things were falling into place.  Then, the unthinkable happened and he broke up with me over Facebook.  Yes, you read that right, over Facebook.  Naturally, this was a shock to me and after days of trying to get in touch with him to give me an explanation, I never got my explanation.  I pretty much went into a depression after that. My typical day went a little like this:  Get up, get McDonalds breakfast, go to work (I would go out on for lunch), go home, watch TV laying on the couch, go out for dinner, go home, watch more TV, go to bed.  Repeat for 6 months.  I gained about 50 lbs in that 6 month time frame.  It was the heaviest I have ever been.  I didn't realize what happened.  “How could you not know?” you ask…well, when you avoid mirrors, cameras, and any type of clothing store you just don’t notice.  It wasn't until I finally took a picture with my mom and I really saw what I looked like and I didn't like what I saw.  It was all I could do not to cry.  It was then, that I made the best decision that I could possibly make and that was joining Weight Watchers.  I have lost about 35 lbs since joining.  It is not as much as I thought I should have lost in a year...I am a little disapointed in myself however, I feel great and I have re-learned how to eat and take care of myself.  To me, that's a greater accomplishment.  

My ultimate goal is to lose 100 lbs.  I am starting to get in some daily exercise and I would like to be able to run a 5K without stopping and hopefully be able to do more and improve my time on each one.  I know I still have a long way to go, but I am not focusing on the number of pounds I have to lose, rather, I am focusing on how I feel.  I have realized that when I put so much pressure on the number, I don’t do as well.  It’s all about the feelings…typical girl I know…but it works for me! 

I am so excited to begin a new weight loss journey with all of you.  I know there are going to be some ups and downs, but with your support, I am sure everything is going to be alright!

Ciao,

Valerie